give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention

i finally finished Invisible Monsters. i've had it for over a month but stopped reading it just about three chapters short of being done, but today i finished up and feel much better about it now. it's a great book, brilliant satire littered with truly bleak fragments. gotta love Palahniuk.

i've been having some vivid dreams lately, all of which i feel quite uncomfortable in. during a post-masturbatory nap (which can be quite deep) the other day, i dreampt that i had awoken from said nap and found a man circling around the house, and he apparently was a hopeful buyer of the house and had already moved half of his stuff into the kitchen, and then was bringing our clothes in from the clothesline and folding them and sniffing them...it was weird. (when i woke up i thought it had been real, but then realized that i was naked and in the dream i had been dressed, so i was relieved.)
then last night i had a dream that i was walking through either an airport or a mall and i spotted my English friend Tom, just sitting with some people and drinking a slushie. i was surprised and hurt that i hadn't been informed of his arrival. as i walked by i didn't look at him, hoping he'd see me first (i do that often). he didn't.
maybe these dreams stem back to real issues i've been having. the first is probably all the stress that's been going on with the house and how it's invading my life without warning. the second is my own insecurities that Tom has moved on from me and i'm not as important to him as he is to me. God, i am touchy.

i've gained a sudden and quite fevered interest in Doctor Who. i wish the season sets weren't so outrageously priced though.

i have the distinct feeling that no one reads this blog, which is okay with me. it serves as a more private diary. i need one and i have no notebooks available to me, so here it is.

hopefully my life will get more interesting soon.